(Misc) What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? An outlaw is wanted.

(Programming) Why do programmers wear glasses? Because they need to C#

(Dark) What is the difference between a pizza and a black man? A pizza can feed a family of five.

(Misc) What do you use to blindfold an Asian? Floss.

(Misc) Never date a baker. They're too kneady.

(Dark) My grandma was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and she keeps calling me by the wrong name. Other than that, the sex is great.

(Misc) My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.

Chances are if you' ve seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Dermatologists are always in a hurry. They spend all day making rash decisions.

I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.

I won an argument with a weather forecaster once. His logic was cloudy...

How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left.

"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."

The movie "anaconda" was shot in Chuck Norris' underwear